Dear B and A,
Your mom and I have always done our best to teach you to see the best in others and the best in yourself. The world will send you mixed messages about who you are and whose you are at almost every turn. While equality seems a given to some, you still would make less money for doing the same job as a male.This is not fair. There is more work to do and our hope is that you will be a part of this. I know there are struggles you will face in our society that I have not had to face. You take a backseat to no one because of your gender. It is an honor to raise two daughters.
Both of you have seen some things about our Presidential election on television. You have asked some really good questions including my favorite, “wait, a girl can be President?” B asked yesterday why people on television were talking about one of the candidates. Truthfully, where do I begin?
Words matter.The intentions behind words matter. Your Dad makes a living for our family using words. Your Dad feels called to use words on behalf of God to communicate God’s deep love for all people. Words matter and the thoughts those words convey matter.
The words used by one of our candidates are unacceptable. Those words would not be acceptable from one of your classmates or by any other male. That is not how boys talk. If a boy ever talks to you or about you in such an unacceptable way, your mom and I will be having a conversation with their parents. We would not expect you to talk that way about boys or girls. Don’t ever let someone talk at you or to you in this way and think “that’s just how boys talk.” It’s not.
Our society should not let this pass. People in the church who you look up to should not let this pass. I will not let this pass. I would not be doing the sacred job entrusted to me as your Dad if I just passed this off as “how boys talk.” You are not an object who has been put on this earth for others’ pleasure. You are not inferior to anyone because you are a girl. No one should feel like they have the right to take advantage or objectify you because you are a girl. You are wonderfully made, both beautiful children of God. I promise that your Mom and I will do our part to help you know that.
One thought on “That’s Not How Boys Talk- A Letter to My Daughters”
These are profound and moving words Danny. I’m proud and honored to know you. Your amazing little girls are so lucky to have you as their champion and father.